I did it! I went to my first support group for women battling with infertility! Anyone that knows me, knows how big this is for me. Over the years it has been very hard to open up to many people about our experiences.
Why, you ask? I do not have a good clear cut explanation. Sometimes I just really do not want to talk or even think about it all. I also am SO sick of hearing about someones cousins neighbor that was having problems and then went to this Dr and bam! or stopped trying and bam! OR my latest and favorite...."have you tried baby aspirin"? REALLY!? It has been how many years of trying, multiple specialists, several miscarriages...but NO... aspirin?... REALLY?...we never thought of THAT!!
OK, I have to stop and put a disclaimer. After reading several woman's blogs and going to the support group I have decided I have to be honest. I have to be honest to the women out there reading this and most importantly I have to be honest to myself. My intent is not to offend anyone!! I understand that if you have never dealt with infertility you have no idea how it feels and even more what to say to someone that is. I understand that most peoples intentions are not to upset me, but to help. I honestly have NO idea what I want you to say either...so again I do not talk about it.
Alright...done with the disclaimer...
So, last night went to the support group. Well, it turned out to be a support partnership! The group is in start over mode. All the women that had been attending are either pregnant or have adopted. It was just me and the leader Meghan. I felt terrible when Meghan said that all of the women are or will soon be mommies except for her. I have had a few friends and acquaintances that had dealt a little with infertility, but they are all Mommies now. I am VERY happy for them and that they were able to overcome. However, I can't help but feel all alone again. I can only imagine how that makes Meghan feel. We talked for over an hour and a half about our experiences, doctors, disappointments, etc. It was so nice to get it all out there. I did not feel like I was being judged for those angry and bitter feelings. Hopefully, Meghan felt a little relief as well. I am going to continue to go and I hope that other women join us because I think there are a lot of women out there that could use some healing and comfort! I think this is really going to be a good experience for me. Hopefully, my husband can get his wife back!
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Well hello there and welcome to blogger world! I personally LOOOOVE it! I might not be a regular blogger but I do miss it when I can't find the time to get on!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you found my blog and will be following my journey. I am now following you and can't wait to continue this journey with you. Of course as a bloggie follower! Nothing shady, promise! :oD
I was scared and felt stupid when I first started to blog. I felt like, "Oh this is silly. No one wants to read you wine and cry about your issues." But actually, I've found it very theraputic and it has helped me to know that all 32 followers of mine are true blogger friends and that when I'm down, they are always there for me. Blog world is an amazing thing. I'm so thankful for everyone I have.
I'm so sorry for all the pain you and your hubs have been through. We've suffered one miscarriage last May. It was the hardest thing to deal with. I had so many emotions running at one time I truly thought I'd loose it. Thank gosh for my husband. He truly is a blessing in my life.
This June will be 2 years since we've started to really "try". It's been a hard 2 years but also the best. It's brought my husband and I closer than I thought possible.
Things will work out. They always do. A year ago, If I were to hear someone say that, I probably would have slapped them. But it's true. GOD has a plan for the two of you. You have to have the strong Faith that he's working on your plan and it will all come together in the end.
Always know, even though I've never met you and we have no idea who each other are, your not alone and you can ALWAYS shoot a comment my way and I'll be there...Ok, maybe not asap but I WILL be back! PROMISE! :o)
I can't wait to hear more!!
Praying for your little miracle!
Holy goodness! I didn't realize that comment was that long! SORRY! :o) I tend to blabber on and on...Sorda like I'm doing now!
ReplyDeleteOKBYE!
LOL! I do not mind! Thank you for all the words of encouragement!!
ReplyDeleteYou and your husband are in my prayers too!
Hey! It was great meeting you as well! I thoroughly enjoyed our evening and actually was glad it ended up being just the two of us. We'll see what happens after the convention in February... :-) But it was wonderul and thank you for allowing me to share as well even though I blabbed on forever it seems! I'm excited that you're blogging and look forward to reading. :-) Have a great weekend hun!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comment on my blog. I see that you live in St. Louis and see Dr. Ahlering too. I met Meghan through my blog and found comfort in talking to someone face to face that knows what its like to deal with infertility. Maybe the three of us to get together sometime. Please feel free to e-mail me if you want to get together.
ReplyDeletejrj013@hotmail.com
Hi - I saw your post on Meghan's blog. I too went to the support group just once, but it was a long time ago. It was just too far for me to drive and I just really was not ready for it. However, I have been following Meghan's blog ever since, and I have had a blog since September. Short story is I had misdiagnosed ectopic, had emergency surgery, tube was not removed, methotrexate, still not going away, ended up with Dr. Muckerman and having both tubes removed because they were severely infected. Two failed IVF's with Dr. Peter Ahlering last year (no eggs fertilized and then no eggs at all), consult with Judy and every other RE in town over summer, all those immune system issues you have plus some, and we have moved on to adoption. I just could not handle the money aspect and not having anything in return. We too have no insurance and borrowed from our families, put ourselves in dept, etc for the IVF's. We are now borrowing once again for the adoption, but at least I know there is a baby at the end. It is a hard road to be on and it sucks. Especially when you everyone you know who was once infertile is now pregnant. If you ever want to talk feel free to let me know. My blog is http://unexpectedlifeevents.blogspot.com Sorry for such a long message! Take care. Courtney
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